How You Influence Others Shows Them How You Think
This fall, in a Forbes article, I introduced the idea of iceberg thinking versus pyramid thinking as a way to help leaders focus on how to use open-minded thinking to reduce stress.
Iceberg thinkers lean into their neurotic tendencies, acting out of distress. They are highly concerned about the perceptions of others and often act out of fear, shame or dysregulation as a result.
Pyramid thinkers are open-minded, focusing on opportunities and insight. They aren’t falsely positive; instead, they are open to new experiences, mindfully aware of themselves and the impacts they have on others, and empathetic to different perspectives. Pyramid thinkers are innovative leaders who outperform iceberg thinkers that aim to maintain control.
Over a decade ago, I briefly worked at Opower, a software company that uses Arizona State University professor emeritus Robert Cialdini’s work on social norms to help individuals reduce energy consumption. (Opower is now part of Oracle). In his book Influence: Science and Practice, Cialdini outlines six principles that people use to influence the behavior of others. Of these six, three are clearly iceberg motivators, aimed at controlling others: authority, social proof, and scarcity. Three are pyramid motivators, aimed at empowering others: commitment and consistency, liking, and…
